So very wrong. This film is not for...well to be perfectly honest I'm entirely sure who it's for.
I entered the cinema charmed by the typically Pixar-esque short that preluded the film and then had my heart unceasingly ripped from my chest for an hour and a half and handed to me on a platter by the bizarreness of the actual film that was everything other than expected.
Now I'm no stranger to the tear inducing emotional trauma that Disney and Pixar craft so wonderfully (I've willingly watched Up more times than I can count) however I believe it's fair to claim that the token this-parent-child-relationship-is-flawed-but-uplifting storyline has become a clique that almost automatically triggers a feeling of Oh my gosh this parental figure is about to die tragically and this film was no exception. So, despite going against my basic nature and releasing a spoiler into the world, I think I can safely say that anyone accustomed to Disney's penchant for killing off parents and breaking the tiny fragile hearts of children and adults alike could predict the death of the Daddy Dinosaur from the get go.
However what made this predictably sad death actually hit hard was Arlo, the small, clumsy and evidently so relatable underdog, who was unable to process the passing of his father properly. Arguable this was worsened by him, for some unknown reason, having to take on the tasks of his late father instead of his clearly more capable, fully grown, brutish and what I can only describe as animated version of Butch (the douchebag brother from Home Alone) sibling Buck.
Now what initially seemed intriguing about this plot was its play with Dinosaurs surviving and eventually evolving, despite the apparent necessity for opposable thumbs, into...farmers (yeah I'm not sure either). Meanwhile humanity remains in the ME MAN. ME BEAT THINGS WITH STICKS. OHH AHH FIRE! stage. As a consequence of this a hop, skip and a jump into the plot line Arlo adopts a small rabid human in place of a puppy which he names Spot.
This is were it gets weird, Arlo and Spot the human puppy get washed up by the same river that killed Arlo's Dad (not at all traumatic then) and end up stranded miles from home. They run into a mentally unstable styracosaurus who seeks safety through the protection of small adorable woodland creatures with names such as Destructor, DreamCrusher (who stops him from setting unrealistic goals apparently- told you this film was weird) and Debbie.
Now at this point I have no real memory of where the story went because it had no cohesive plot...or script really. However they did have a drug scene! Yeah I shit you not, one minute our two underage protagonists are strolling along on their way home and then- oh look berries!-cue weird trippy scene in which faces puff up, the animation gets hazy and body parts are swapped. What sort of children's movie is this?!
So I promised you tears and now I'm getting to the part that had adults in the cinema clutching their hearts whilst small children struggled to comprehend the concept of loss. As Spot lacked the ability of speech Arlo the evolved dinosaur began to try and demonstrate to him a sense of family by placing five conveniently dinosaur shaped twigs in the ground and then drawing a circle around it. Once Spot had grasped this concept and set up his own three person family unit he then heartbreakingly buried the two twig representation of his parents in the ground. Excuse me whilst I weep silently into my popcorn. Arlo then buries his stick father as well whilst the whole audience scream internally for him to pick up the stick symbolising Spot and put it in his Goddamn family circle! The scene continues with tears of both dinosaur and human variety whilst- PUT TWIG SPOT IN YOUR FAMILY CIRCLE YOU WANKER! No nothing? What is this film?!
As if children weren't traumatized enough, Arlo and Spot run into three nasty looks dinosaurs with wings that I couldn't spell the species of if you put a gun to my head. The three villains appeared to be a weird parody of extremist evangelicals following a storm that's shown them the light and preaching how it provides for them. This isn't dwelled on for too long though because eventually they prove themselves to be foe but doing their upmost to eat Spot the dinosaur movie equivalent of a chubby big-eyed pug and thus the wandering journey home gains some fast paced incentive.
Other than an all too familiar quest to get home this film appeared to be merely several offbeat inside jokes that made the creators chuckle and had no distinctive cast other than Anna Paquin who played Dino Suki Stackhouse. I'm not sure I could say I enjoyed this film, most the time it had me alternating somewhere between oh gosh what the hell am I watching and wanting to sob quietly into my coat whilst simultaneously cuddle a dinosaur and cavebaby. However what I can say for this film is that it was highly ascetically pleasing with regard to background and that the bizarre script displayed a new format for Disney movies in which the story lines are somewhat less predictable and grown men will require a packet of tissue to make it through (yes I'm referring to you Man who sat next to me on his phone for every part bar the twig scene and still looked heartbroken).
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